Home Funerals: A Resource Guide |
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Primary Resources: Either of these sites offers a book which will give you the basic information you will need to perform a home funeral. The movie shows you how to do it: Final Passages - www.finalpassages.org Jerri Lyons' Guidebook ( you'll only need booklets A & B) costs $36 + s&h. Crossings: Caring for Our Own at Death - www.crossings.net Beth Knox's Crossings Resource Guide costs $55. Passing Through Our Hands is a guide to home funeral care. The video starts from when the person dies and covers how to wash the body, dress and layout the body, hold a vigil, how to move the body into a coffin. The video also includes printed guidelines in addition to the video training. Available from www.homefuneraldirectory.com. for $15. They also offer a free 18-page e-book, "Checklist for Planning a Home Funeral." In Maine, you may be interested in the services of the Wild Souls Sanctuary in Hiram. Books that provide much helpful information: Caring for the Dead: Your Final Act of Love by Lisa Carlson (Hinesburg, VT: Upper Access Books, 1998). Gives state-by-state information on legality of home funerals along with much helpful information about conducting a home funeral. Dealing Creatively With Death, by Ernst Morgan. Suggests and describes things to think about before death, and offers instructions on alternatives to the common funeral-director-handled experience. I like his suggestions on writing and performing a funeral or memorial service. Coming Home: A Guide to Dying at Home with Dignity, by Deborah Duda. Describes her own experience participating in three home funerals, including that of her own father. Alternates practical advice with discussions of the spiritual nature of the experience. Final Journeys: A Practical Guide for Bringing Care and Comfort at the End of Life, by Maggie Callanan (Random House, 2008). Maggie Callanan co-wrote "Final Gifts" and has specialized in care of the dying since 1981. This book contains forty short chapters distilling her experience. Excellent advice that should be read by the family, the caregivers, and even the patient. Other useful sources: Thresholds www.nancyjewelpoer.com Nancy Jewel Poer's book Living into Dying: A Journal of Spiritual and Practical Deathcare for Family and Community is full of helpful stories about her experiences with home funerals. The Shira Ruskay Center www.shiraruskay.org/doula.html A Jewish organization that offers a training for "Doulas" for the dying. Funeral Consumers Alliance (www.funerals.org) Here's the link to their Family-Directed Funerals page ( http://www.funerals.org/web-links/57-family-directed-funerals). The whole site is full of helpful information and links. Here's the link to the Maine chapter of the FCA - http://www.fcamaine.org/. Lifetime membership is $25. The Alternative Funeral Monitor www.alternativefuneralmonitor.com Grave Matters: A Journey Through the Modern Funeral Industry to a Natural Way of Burial, by Mark Harris (Scribner, 2007). Describes the typical modern funeral, including a thorough description of the embalming process, then offers alternatives, ending each chapter with a "Resource Guide." The American Way of Death Revisited by Jessica Mitford (Vintage Books, 1998). This is an updated edition of the classic expose that first raised the issues in 1963. Create Your Own Funeral or Memorial Service: The Art of Dying: Honoring and Celebrating Life's Passages, by Salli Rasberry and Carole Rae Watanabe (Celestial Arts, 2001). A very encouraging book. In Memoriam: A Practical Guide to Planning a Memorial Service, by Amanda Bennett and Terence B. Foley (Simon & Schuster, 1997). A very complete, practical book. Many other books on this subject are available. Do a Subject search in your library's catalog for "Funeral services" or "Memorial services." Ask your librarian - they're very helpful people. These books are all available at public libraries. If your public library doesn't own a copy, they will borrow a copy from another library for you. After the Funeral: There are many details that must be attended to after the funeral. The American Association of Retired Persons website has much useful information. http://www.aarp.org/families/grief_loss/ Look particularly at the sections on "Urgent Details" and "Final Details." Movies: A Family Undertaking. A POV Film aired on PBS: http://www.pbs.org/pov/pov2004/afamilyundertaking/index.html The web site hosts additional information and a study guide. The film is available for sale, or can be obtained from Netflix. Lasting Images: Alternatives to Traditional Burial. This is a 52-minute film by Joan and Hammond Hendrix which complements the book Grave Matters (above). "Lasting Images will open your eyes to the many ways to remember and honor the dead without the 'traditional' costly service at a funeral home." On DVD. Hospice Volunteers of Waterville Area has a copy. Encouraging Articles: (Any web search will list a large number of articles about home, green or alternative funerals) Portland Press Herald article about a Maine home funeral: http://pressherald.mainetoday.com/story.php?id=143467&ac=PHnws Morning Sentinel article about a coffin maker and home funerals: http://morningsentinel.mainetoday.com/news/local/4620508.html Coffins: See "Different Kinds of Coffins" page on this website Plain Maine Pine Box ( http://www.mainecottagegarden.com/pine_box.html) Natural Burial Company (http://www.naturalburialcompany.com/) Caskets from the Trappist monks at New Melleray Abbey (http://www.trappistcaskets.com/) Colorful Coffins ( http://www.colorfulcoffins.com/) Any funeral home should be able to sell you what they call something like "a composition material alternative container," basically a stiffened cardboard box, used primarily for cremations. It may need a piece of plywood on the bottom to keep it from sagging. Expect to pay about $100. On Green Burials: Green Burial Council, http://greenburialcouncil.org/ Green Burial Council is an independent, nonprofit organization founded to encourage ethical and environmentally sustainable deathcare practices, and to use the burial process as a means of facilitating the acquisition, restoration and stewardship of natural areas. Green Burial sites: Cedar Brook Burial Ground, Limington, Maine http://greencemetary.blogspot.com Rainbow's End, South Orrington, Maine (Joan Howard, 48 Mill Creek Road, Orrington, ME 04474, JoanHoward@att.net) "Two Recently-Created 'Green' Cemeteries in Maine Reject Embalming, Waterproof Caskets and Vaults" ( http://bangornews.com/news/t/news.aspx?articleid=164846&zoneid=500 ) by Ken Miller, Bangor Daily News, May 27, 2008. Ramsey Creek www.memorialecosystems.com/ (the first in the US) Good overview with links: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natural_burial Hip video: http://www.groovygreen.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=262&Itemid=58 Enter "green burials" or "green funeral" into any search engine. You'll get a number of hits. |